Deafness Can Be Underrated

A pox on you, foul whistler! The more intricate your musical composition, the prouder you appear. You blissfully subject us to the piercing screech of your exhalations. I wish for sudden arid conditions to rob you of the moisture so necessary for this hideous tune. Barring that change in climate, a well-timed crosstown bus will suffice. Oh rid us of this foul aural pestilence.

Harmony

This, of course, will come as surprise, but your favorite band sucks now. It's questionable that they were ever good, but rest assured that they suck now. Maybe your blind loyalty is from some misguided notion that loyalty reveals you as a good person since you are loyal to something. To anything really. Well, it's not true. If anything, I am more disgusted with you because that is stupid. Maybe you are just tasteless. I can accept this. If you are just nostalgic, you are creepy and you have a sense of personal style that shows how very self-conscious you actually are. You are getting older. You will die. Persisting that the band you loved when you were young is still relevant just to show that you are still relevant and thereby still young is pathetic. They are unlistenable, as are you.