Annexation

I can't say what it is about me that would attract someone of your girth to sit next to me on this train, ma'am. Perhaps I have a lingering air of tasty snacks. Or maybe I appear to be less judgmental than many of those who cast shocked glances in your direction. But that appearance is deceptive. My thoughts are not good, and that enmity is compounded by the intense warmth from your ample thigh and landslide of blubber clinging to what we must assume is your long-thought lost ribcage.