Neighbors

You are far too corpulent to sit next to me during this train ride. There are any number of small, Asian women you can cram against their window with the quivering mass of your ribmeat. I am a man of normal size and proportions and therefore you should make ready for a duel where the bone of my elbow (yes, fair lady, one should note the hard feel of bone in one's elbow) meets anyone's guess on your person. Your dicomfort is of minor consolation. The sick warmth of your mass against the entirety of my left side will earn you a sigh, a cross look, and hopefully a large place in the bowels of hell. May I suggest you run home next time, oh blubbery vixen of goo. You appear to be sculpted from mashed potatos and the sheer repugnancy of your person means your presence on this train will not be missed. Fingers of sausage, palms of London Broil, thighs comprised of acres of Jello, BEGONE!