It Will Be Televised

When you say you don't watch television, you sound so proud. As if you are telling a crowd that you have sworn off racism and child brutality. In self-righteous tones usually reserved for born again church going types, you chide others for their enjoyment of this form of entertainment. National Public Radio, erudite magazines, and a well-chosen newspaper will suit you just fine. You now have a leg up on information superiority. I hope this is soothing salve for the stinging fact that you are a lonely bore. You have no sense of fun unless it is enjoying bewildered looks as you quote a literary critic about a book you didn't read or a culinary guide about a restaurant you will never attempt to visit. Lock yourself in your shabby apartment and live out your mortal coil having done and seen nearly nothing. Maybe someday soon you will understand that being smug is an unattractive quality. Especially in someone with no basis for it.